打开心世界

1st letter, from TallieAbigail, Abigail, Abigail...I’m sorry that all I have to send you is this letter, and I’m sorry for all that a letter cannot be. Even the best letter is just a little bit of someone. I’m sorry I never got to say goodbye, and I’m sorry that we seem to have traded one sort of misery for another. It turns out that houses deep in the backwoods always seem to be awful and unnatural in their loneliness. If there were only a ruined abbey around there with bats in it, the view would be pertect. Our roof is ramshackle and sheds water nicely in dry weather, but we have to spread milk pans around the floor when it rains. Still, outside the kitchen, there are already anemones and heart’s-ease, and even prettier flowers which my stupidity keeps me from naming for you. I believe I’ve enjoyed myself less these last few weeks than any other female who ever lived. During what little time I have to myself, Finney reads aloud instructions for wives from the Old Testament. But when it comes to the Bible, I have to say that there are a lot of passages he may know word for word, but which haven’t touched his heart. I can’t account for his state of mind except to say that my company must be intensely disagreeable to him. And if that’s the case, I’m sorry for it.2nd letter, from AbigailWhat’s to become of the thousands of our sex, scattered out in the wilderness, and obliged to tax our strengths? I felt as if, at that selfsame hour when our prospects were brightest, that in the dim distance a black shadow approached. And yet still, imagine the happiest of unions for us of the sort in which two families previously at daggers drawn are miraculously brought together on love’s account. It is your face I bear through the night. It is to you I devote a dreaming space before I turn myself to sleep, but there is no sleep. It’s as if within me everything clamors for air, and I think if it’s like this now, what will it be like later? I send you what love and support I can. I send you all my heart’s hopes.Abigail3rd letter, from Tallie Please know that force alone couldn’t have gotten me here to a place like this. I was told I had to act in support of interest,happiness and the reputation of someone I once loved.As far as I can figure,we’re now still only about 85 miles apart. But of course, people like us don’t go on long visits.It’s so hard to write about how much I want to thank you, but I have to start somewhere. Abigail...I want to tell you that being with you, even alone, has been like being a part of the biggest and most spacious community I could ever imagine. I feel closer to you than I would to a sister since everything amazing that I feel, I chose to feel.And do you know what memory it is that I most cherish? It’s of you turning to me with that smile you gave me, once you realized that you were loved.I have no way of knowing what is to come, but I do know that all of the trust, and care, and courage we shared, that will all shine on us, and protect us.You are my city of joy. You are my city of joy.

影片讲述了19世纪50年代的美国，发生在两个拓荒者家庭的女性之间的感情故事。

两个妻子当艾比盖尔与塔利相遇时，艾比盖尔正经历丧女之痛，与丈夫的感情也出现问题。

原本对生活麻木的她在遇到塔利后心中又燃起了希望。

两个人渐渐熟悉，慢慢试探，终于在塔利的主动追问之下，艾比盖尔承认了两人的感情。

两个丈夫戴尔是艾比盖尔的丈夫，喜欢机械，终日劳作，是典型的勤恳的第一代拓荒者。

芬尼是塔利的丈夫，刻薄、孤独、疑心重重。

在面对各自妻子的同性之情时，两个丈夫的行为截然相反。

影片中暗示，戴尔可能很早就知道内情，但他仅仅是在面对艾比盖尔时通过言语上来试探她，并没有实际行为的阻止。

而当塔利一家搬走，塔利疑似遭到暴力对待时，戴尔默默的帮助妻子寻找塔利。

即使以现在的标准衡量，戴尔对妻子的包容度也已经很大了。

芬尼的行为则更接近19世纪一个男性面对妻子是同性恋这件事时应有的反应。

他无法解释这件事，并将这件事视作疾病或邪恶，这也是很久以来“普通人”对同性恋的普遍看法。

影片用极为细致真实的场景还原了一个由蛮荒逐渐文明化的美洲大陆的一隅，加上故事与拓荒这一主题内核上的呼应，可谓是以小见大的典范。

片中用精致复杂的台词剖析人物内心，让观众不禁想要一睹原著的词句。

而两位女主角细腻的表演也没有使片中不放过任何细节的镜头失望。

故事虽显平淡，但无论是日常生活的压抑还是面对爱人的喜悦，角色的情绪已经流淌到影像细枝末节的脉络中，观众沉浸其中。

失去女儿的艾比盖尔内心只剩痛苦，但在遇到塔利之前，她不曾体会快乐。

塔利则洒脱得多，她直面与艾比盖尔的感情，但却因家庭的阻碍离去。

她们的苦难经历源于人类认识上的无知，这里曾经是心灵的蛮荒之地，因为如她们一样的拓荒者，这里终将是一个文明的新世界。

看死君：继罗南和凯特主演的那部《菊石》后，我们终于又等到一部姬片。

“花园”第32期，要为大家推荐的便是这部由凡妮莎·柯比和凯瑟琳·沃特斯顿主演的《打开心世界》。

在去年威尼斯国际电影节上，本片突出重围荣获断背狮奖，还有人称其为“女版《断背山》”。

栏目| 花园作者|花无宴说起英国女演员凡妮莎·柯比，很多国内观众都是通过《王冠》《碟中谍6》以及《速度与激情：特别行动》认识的。

而她演技上真正的炸裂时刻，则是去年在威尼斯电影节上夺得影后的那部《女人的碎片》，后来还提名了奥斯卡影后。

凡妮莎·柯比凭借《女人的碎片》提名奥斯卡最佳女主角无独有偶，在同届威尼斯电影节上，凡妮莎·柯比还有另一部电影入围，那便是挪威导演莫娜·法斯特欧德的新作《打开心世界》。

这部成功摘得断背狮大奖的女同题材影片，让我们得以看到凡妮莎的另一面风情。

相比凡妮莎在《女人的碎片》中所展现的女性妊娠的高光时刻，以及逼近真实的窒息感与疼痛感；她在《打开心世界》中所塑造的19世纪古典少妇，同样以撩拨之态和直率性情而为影迷观众们所称道。

但《打开心世界》并不是一部让凡妮莎·柯比和凯瑟琳·沃德斯顿两位实力派女星袒胸露乳的蕾丝艳片，而是深挖美国尚处于开疆拓土时期的缝隙角落，以及两对农家夫妻的悲苦人生。

影片改编自吉姆·谢泼德的同名短篇小说，谢泼德本人也全程参与了编剧工作。

而另一位编剧朗·汉森，则是曾由布拉德·皮特主演的西部犯罪片《神枪手之死》的原著作者。

2007《神枪手之死》 作为《打开心世界》的主演之一，卡西·阿弗莱克当年正是通过《神枪手之死》和朗·汉森结识的。

当阿弗莱克向汉森询问最近有无好故事值得拍摄时，汉森便向他推荐了《打开心世界》这部小说。

这也是为什么阿弗莱克既是本片的主演，同样也担任着制片人。

为求与原著小说的风格保持一致，导演莫娜·法斯特欧德全程采用日记体叙事方式，以女主角阿比盖尔的第一人称视角，讲述了她与凡妮莎饰演的另一位妇人塔莉之间的动人故事。

1856年1月1日，跟丈夫戴尔一同生活在美国东北部偏远农场的阿比盖尔，像往常一样记录着自己孤独、无聊且阴郁的一天。

对于阿比盖尔而言，她与丈夫戴尔的生活枯燥且了无生趣。

戴尔是个为农场经营殚精竭虑的憨厚农夫，除了偶尔摆弄自己的那些机械器件，他将所有的闲暇时间都用来记账。

可阿比盖尔却是个心怀文艺幻想的敏感女人，除了对文学诗歌颇感兴趣之外，她还每天都用抒情而细腻的文字，映照着心里的每一层波澜。

原本，在幼女内莉诞生后，夫妻二人的关系暂时得以黏合，而内莉却突患白喉之症，仅不到五岁便猝然夭折。

阿比盖尔和戴尔的婚姻危机便日益加剧。

直到某一天，塔莉在教堂前出现，引起了阿比盖尔的注意，后者的人生才开始焕发新机。

面对内敛保守的阿比盖尔，塔莉显得外向活泼得多，主动在阿比盖尔门前跟她寒暄许久。

自此，两人开始了一段交心之旅。

对各自丈夫的抱怨，兴趣爱好的表露，以及彼此之间所激荡的情感，让两颗疲惫麻木的心在冬日寒风中有了难得的温暖。

在两人更进一步的深入交往中，她们开始渐生出某种异样的情愫。

最开始，阿比盖尔只是用略显暧昧的词句在日记中写下自己的心理变化；而塔莉则要直率坦诚得多，她甚至主动向阿比盖尔示爱，还给了她一个浅浅的吻。

由此，两个在家中都得不到丈夫疼爱的女人，相互温存，成为日常“偷情”的一对。

然而，塔莉的丈夫芬尼却是一个敏感且手段强硬的狠角色。

在他日渐察觉到塔莉对自己变得冷漠之后，不但对塔莉实施家暴，更是连夜驱车赶路，将塔莉带到了另一座孤独的农场。

影片最后，阿比盖尔终于勇敢地踏上寻找塔莉的旅程，却发现塔莉已在床上死去多时。

生活还得继续，而阿比盖尔却只能在塔莉还活着的幻想中，度过今后的岁月。

很多人都将本片与李安导演的《断背山》相提并论，认为两者都讲述了一对同性恋者背着各自的另一半偷情的故事。

李安《断背山》但在人物关系的设定上，两者其实还是存在着一定差别。

《断背山》中的一对牛仔，其实早在结婚之前就已经相爱，只不过彼此都以为未来不会再见面，所以才选择结婚；而《打开心世界》则有着《廊桥遗梦》似的“偷情”设计，两位女主角在婚姻关系的掩盖下偷食禁果。

所以，在阿比盖尔和塔莉的这段恋爱中，我们很明显能看出她们之间的情感区别。

阿比盖尔更为保守胆怯，她虽然早就对塔莉存有爱慕之情，却隐忍不发。

直到塔莉向她当面表白、热吻相迎后，她才以急切的回吻表达了自己更为炽热的情感。

阿比盖尔几乎不曾主动去过塔莉家中，每次两人相处时，她都警惕被别人瞧见；甚至在塔莉冒着大暴雪冻伤之时，她也不敢轻易前去看望。

说到底，阿比盖尔的确贪恋这段甜蜜之情，但是她想要的是安全范围内的偷情，而不是逾越常规的私奔。

可塔莉不同，她始终渴盼着阿比盖尔的回应和主动。

她其实始终想要打破两人的现状，寻求着厮守终生的冒险的可能。

然而，这一试探性的提议，却被阿比盖尔的惶恐所打断。

正如影片《菊石》所展现的那样，在十九世纪中期那样的时代背景之下，两个女人想要享受同性之爱，几无可能。

阿比盖尔和塔莉基于爱情的不同态度，其实和各自丈夫的性格也都有着莫大的关系。

阿比盖尔之所以会倾向偷情，正在于丈夫戴尔的“默许”。

虽然影片中并没有道明戴尔在妻子和塔莉偷情期间，是否知晓真相；可每当塔莉到家中来访，他便知趣离开，让两人私处。

仅就这一点来看，戴尔对于妻子已然非常宽容。

这主要是因为，阿比盖尔对于戴尔来说，并不只是妻子，更是安全的港湾和依靠。

我们从暴风雪这一桥段中，便能够看出端倪。

影片利用暴雪狂舞的极寒天气道明两点：1.戴尔作为男人的胆怯。

他在暴雪中修补羊圈之后，不敢冒险归家。

2. 阿比盖尔的坚韧和果敢。

她在腰间绑好麻绳，冒着危险赶到羊圈救回丈夫。

这在后来阿比盖尔照顾生病的丈夫，戴尔讲述自己儿时经历地震后的心理阴影，以及明确表示没有阿比盖尔自己活不下去等情节中，均能看出戴尔对妻子的依赖。

但塔莉的丈夫芬尼却有所不同，他是一位道貌岸然的暴戾基督徒。

表面上，他用《圣经》中有关夫妻关系及妻子义务的经文约束着塔莉；而实际上，他是个寡情薄意、以残忍手段虐杀动物，并且对妻子怀有报复之心的伪君子，毫不顾忌《圣经》中向善、宽恕的基本教义。

尽管，影片最终并没有直接表露出芬尼谋杀了塔莉的真相，但从诸多细节中，我们都能看出这位家暴者的杀妻动机。

影片中有很多细节都铺垫了这个阴影。

比如芬妮曾跟塔莉讲述郡中的杀妻案件，塔莉脖子上明显的勒痕，塔莉家中的沾血毛巾，以及塔莉在与芬尼的舞蹈中，逐渐垂臂，悄然死去。

其实，无论是戴尔的宽忍，还是芬尼的暴戾，最终指向的都是那个夫权至上的社会中男性话语体系带来的禁锢与恐怖。

这种肃杀的氛围，在影片的两处闲笔中最为让人印象深刻。

其中一处是上文提到的暴雪桥段，除了阿比盖尔和戴尔之间的营救行动，还有一段是塔莉打算在木屋避雪的场面。

此时在幽暗的木屋一隅，传来“靠近点姑娘，这里比较暖和”的声音。

当塔莉点燃火柴一看，便发现三个虎视眈眈的中年男性。

恶劣的天气，叠加男性潜在的性威胁，成为那个时代激发女性身心恐惧的标志性象征。

而另一处更为隐秘的批判性场景，是阿比盖尔归家途中，看到某户人家房屋着火，幼女在阁楼被熊熊大火困住，活活烧死。

此处，影片不但借小女孩的意外死去，再度激起阿比盖尔曾因白喉离世的女儿的心中隐痛，更预示着阿比盖尔接下来更为惨烈的痛苦：彻底失去挚爱塔莉。

这些颇具原始野蛮气息的骇人场景，在导演法斯特欧德的出色运镜下，涌现出莫名的惊悚意味与失落之感。

这不禁让人思考，在那样一个不把女性作为完整个体的残酷的时代，阿比盖尔和塔莉的同性之恋，究竟有多少是真正基于爱情，又有多少是基于无奈。

就像阿比盖尔在她如散文般的抒情语句中所说的那样，无数的女孩嫁为人妇，她们尚且不懂人生的乐趣，却得在婚姻的义务中逐渐枯萎。

当阿比盖尔将无望的眼神投向贸然闯入她生命中的塔莉，同样，当塔莉怀着希冀从阿比盖尔的细腻心灵中获得源泉、滋润生命时，她们曾感受到一种前所未有的放松和生机。

影片中，每当展现两位女主角与各自的丈夫相处时，画面上基本都是灰暗无光的室内场景。

身为女人的她们，或是得在床上为男人们孕育孩子，或是得操持繁重的家务。

镜头语言也常为门框式构图，以寓意二人的“被囚”状态。

而当阿比盖尔和塔莉单独相处时，则多为光源充足的空间，或是郊外草地，或是壁炉一侧，而两者之间的状态也大多为闲散聊天，自然又不失灵动。

由此，这对同性璧人的爱情，在塔莉苍白陨落之时，才显得尤为痛彻心扉。

他们之间的爱恋其实早已不仅仅是情侣关系，而更像是心灵伴侣、知己挚友，无论少了哪一个，都无异于得忍受抽筋扒皮、腌渍暴晒的痛苦。

影片《打开心世界》借用欧美近代历史的夹缝所虚拟的同性相爱故事，对男性话语体系进行消解和批驳，对女性话语权进行重构和补漏的类型已然，已然成为欧美文艺片的一股潮流。

瑟琳·席安玛的《燃烧女子的肖像》、弗朗西斯·李的《菊石》，既着力于表现女同之间微妙的互动关系，同时也指涉着女性在历史大潮中的孤寂、无奈与苦痛。

2020《菊石》男女之间的爱情，对女性来说其实是种话语权至上的剥削；只有女性之间的情感才能起到慰藉和疗愈的作用。

爱情，不只是荷尔蒙激发的择偶触媒，更是性别批判的有力手段。

作为一部女性导演的电影作品，影片《打开心世界》在声效和摄影上同样不落俗套。

配乐方面，请来了丹尼尔·布隆伯格这位1990年出生的年轻艺术家，全程用管乐器演奏出柔和轻缓的音乐，让主角的情绪悄然蔓延。

而暴风雪那场戏，则用无调性音乐配以嘶叫声，营造出惊悚未知的不安氛围，让人时刻为两位女主角揪心。

摄影层面，则采用16mm的胶片拍摄，使影片拥有一种古典的韵味。

相比在画面上有着同样考量的《第一头牛》，法斯特欧德明显将色彩的饱和度、对比度调得更低，极富苍凉意味。

这些都让《打开心世界》成为一部非常耐看的影片，它让我们不得不为那个年代的女性禁忌之恋而感伤，更为之而动容。

栏目| 花园；作者|花无宴公号| 看电影看到死编辑| 骑屋顶少年；转载请注明出处

香格里拉，廷巴克图，异域的发音勾勒出超越任何习得经验的他者的地界。

加德满都，乌兰巴托，语言的陌生和距离的广远构建现实中不存在却在想象中滋长萌芽的永恒乐土，那些属于东方的意象，漫溢到美国地图遥似天边的边界之外，已是一个受教育程度不高的美国农夫语言的想象力所能探触到的世界尽头。

当Finney倾注满怀的恶意，以他所知的虚构东方来讥诮Taille潜在的外遇时，他只是想一贯地通过言语与肉体的暴力来折磨并驯服他的所有物，他的雌兽，他圈养的妻子。

事实上他不幸言中了，但他自己永无可能察觉到充当皮鞭的反问中暗含的真相：他的女人的确肆意漫游在远方的世界流连忘返，而那个天国般的新世界比西方人臆想中投射女性特质的东方更为遥远。

这个世界没有男人能涉足，像他这样想象力早被扼杀的男人更永远无从窥得通往此处的门径。

这是只属于你和我，在我们身前无名无姓的流浪逃亡的祖母们，和在我们消逝之后仍存有勇气与希望去建造方舟追逐太阳的女儿们，只在想象中存在的女人的新世界。

在你到来之前，文字构筑了我的世界。

整部影像的基调与底色都是Abigail流淌的旁白叙述。

散文诗般的日记体将属于个人私密的口述史在克制却哀婉的语调下奔涌成史诗。

短暂的不到一年的光阴，等不及酷寒的冬季在轮回中沉默地登门拜访，你却已经不辞而别，每一次我试图把融进夕阳光晕的背影在记忆中用文字风干成标本，风中鼓动的裙裾却如同海上风帆预示了命运悲剧性的航向。

从冬到秋，封冻、升温、炽烈、死寂，自然的景观与心境的变迁无痕地实现了异轨同操的表达，非语言的氛围情景承托了单一文本的筑基，让回溯文字而得以复现的影像能再一次被赋予生者的温度。

作为庸碌农妇的Abigail在望不到尽头的苦难中日复一日消磨着本就所剩无几的灵魂。

希望渺远，永无满足的莽荒之境中连温饱的最低生存需求都难以为继，更遑论精神、梦想与爱，一切情感的波动与心绪的震荡都要让位于活着的苦役。

麻木黯淡之下她却藏着耀眼的珍宝——文字是她的巫术，在这个宣称上帝治下的男性世界她唯一能为自己所有的权力，手握的利刃——文学的天赋令她在茫茫的模糊女性群像中拥有隐秘的特权，以书写来催眠悲痛的浪潮，以文字的感知来尝试深渊中的自救。

言说的权力一砖一瓦建造起属于她自己的精神游憩之所，在那里万物栩栩可爱，在那里她还能切身感到灵魂尚未消亡于心死的可能性。

静谧而广漠的文字世界中又充满了不可琢磨的虚伪性。

情绪的片段一经大脑过度便失真，一旦涉及语言的再度组织便染上了无可抗拒的矫饰性，连带着不能被文字束缚概括的想象都必须削足适履，裁剪后嵌入语言的边框。

等到落笔时分，日记早已酝酿成一坛自我满足的苦酒，所谓的真实性，只是我同自己撒的一个莫大的谎。

虽然文字名义上扮演着剪下的一片昨日的阴影，一面与自我对话和解的镜子，实则却是善于辞令之人用以掩饰和自洽，合理化伤痛与伪装自我的天然手段，与金属组建构成的机械装置别无二致。

Abigail优美又精确的比喻句随着空境赐予观者极致的视听体验，然而巧言的修辞，譬喻的长句捕捉一幕幕景观赋予形状的习惯暗示出的是，对文字有意识的训练已经形成大脑想象机制的反射条件，比喻越是细腻妥帖，离心里直观的感情越遥不可及。

呼啸着喧腾着的神弃之地处处显示着文学的无用。

既连饱餐饭都成奢望，又怎敢妄议审美的价值。

不仅文学在靠天吃饭的穷山恶水是无效的，一个富有诗书的妻子对于丈夫而言与其说是添色更像是累赘：给一户穷民一只歌喉婉转的夜莺并不能使他们以存续性衡量的幸福感有任何提升，但会下蛋的肥母鸡却能给他们无与伦比的曙光。

美在贫瘠的土地上没有容身之所。

Taille的出现却令迄今为止只能附着在文学想象的美获得了托生之所还过魂来。

她是兀自燃烧而不计后果的一丛野火，恍若她不加捆缚的红发，蓬蓬然生长蔓延扩张为吞噬理性思考的海水与火焰，少女时代不加修剪的任性妄为中自有一种挑衅的姿态。

美好地过了头，又昭示着与这片男性气质土壤的格格不入。

天成的浪漫，碰上野蛮的神话是没有退路也没有出路的，只会在迎头痛击的暴力下化作一具冰冷却乖顺的尸体。

有些悲剧在序章就埋下了伏笔，然而幻梦如真，蒙住了看清蠢动威胁的慧眼，假装在幕天席地的野合中，一瞬可以抵达天长地久的时间维度。

典型的孤岛设置并没有太多可以生出新意的空间。

无非是两个外在毫无半点相似之处内心却合契无比的孤独之人在偶然的际遇中摩擦出爱的火光并彼此救赎，进而一个主动试探，一个被动畏缩，这些情爱节奏都是老生常谈的经书。

但陈词可以重弹，有限的音符也能编排出无尽乐章。

之于这个故事，它的独特性在诗性笔调建立的女性主义文学叙事。

随着日记的时间线一天天铺陈开来，叙事的张弛缓急也跟着展开。

影像化的改编看似打破了原著纯然的文学叙事而以视觉语言强行介入，事实上影片的完成度与结构都已经为文学与电影的共生语言找到了一条曲径通幽的道路。

此外，声音元素作为表演的另一重延伸又为失语的文字增添了情感的演绎。

视与听的语言共同引人迷失在文本的场域之中。

回忆中的角色一一亮相，女主角Abigail的名字揭晓却姗姗来迟，在一个羞怯的她无法拒绝的社交场合被迫吐露，似乎由她文字游走的世界里，她的出场须得由自己控制，而不是旁人一句称呼或漫不经心地介绍下就将名字代表的叙述自主性拱手让人。

而Taille,她的名字像是那位无情上帝的嘲弄，恰好与Abigail失去的女儿Nellie押韵。

命运夺走了她生命中的火光，便又送了一束更明亮更热烈的来，有时候巧合无法不使人做这种联想。

无子的隐痛顺理成章构成将两人心的距离拉近的第一条线索。

十九世纪美国东北部清教徒的观念中对妻子的位置与义务有神圣而严苛的定义，但执行的力度在远离文明中心的乡野上全看个人，也即丈夫的头脑中那颗毒瘤种得有多深。

城市文明辐射半径之外的“法外之地”，上帝是最微不足道却又最举重若轻的存在。

若上帝真有仁慈，他就不必化作不仁的天地，夺走在土地上耕种的人们生存的希望，更不必毫无缘由地熄灭一个稚嫩灵魂的生命之火。

上帝和他人间代理人的虚伪之处正在于，既呼吁人在不幸中坚信神的救世，又要在不幸降临时原谅上帝偶发的疏忽。

如此，人只能寄虚无的希望于来世。

那里或有数座庇护之城，可以大庇天下不幸之人。

但女人的落脚处又在上帝眼中的哪里呢？

《旧约》教导世人，服从你的丈夫如同侍奉你的主。

当神只为男人的意志而撰写教义，我又怎能信奉这样一位主，他的福音中不会有我的一席之地。

宗教的压迫神圣化了妇职的意义，将女性编织进层层束缚的道德与责任之下，为妻要为丈夫操持好家室，默默忍受丈夫的泄欲，成为厅堂中一件漂亮的摆设，为母要以永动的繁衍义务填满每一寸本属于自我的空间，直至任何曾有的想象与梦境都在养儿育女的连轴转中丧失意义。

即使从母亲的人生中屡次反思女性的处境，Abigail还是斩断不了父权的捆绑。

丧女之痛像一根刺反复扎疼她对自己失职的认识，隐痛又在见到母与子的场景下不断复现提醒着她育儿的责任。

对Taille而言，无子是她丈夫眼中横亘在夫妻关系里最不和谐的一桩罪，这罪只会单方面降在女性头上。

如一片寸草不生的地，一只下不了蛋的母鸡，你无用的子宫注定你不是一个完整的女人。

共享的悲痛与无能为力淹没了她们的心，然而这种情绪在与丈夫朝夕相处面面相觑的日子中是无人可诉说的，唯有关停情感的感知才能继续麻木地生活。

女性互助的价值就在炉火前的交心片刻被勾连起来。

父权制婚姻的阴影像萦绕不去的乡愁一样盘桓在她们的头上，愁云惨雾阻断了前路。

Abigail形容与丈夫的性行为是“他夜间的愉悦”，言下之意是床笫间的亲密对于她没有任何的性快感，只是被动承受着男性的性欲发泄与传宗接代的任务。

Taille拒绝丈夫性要求后受到的威胁则令人毛骨悚然。

在独属于她们两人的性爱中却让人看到寂灭的希望复生的可能性。

第一个吻，于两人都是全然陌生的经验。

在同性恋文化还没有被主流社会道德明确斥作禁忌的当时，这反而不是一种明知禁忌的反叛，而是跟从情感的召唤探索未知又神秘的域外之地。

手中只有一张残缺的地图，却要按图找到逃离的去处。

彼此试谈又退却，胆怯的心思终在一个吻中道尽了心意相通。

狂喜的感受流遍四肢百骸，超越了语言的经验，令一切字词的堆叠都黯然失色。

Astonishment and joy，复诵三次的迷狂恍若祷文给全新的神话注入了信仰的力量，同样复诵三次的"Abigail"则是无边绝望中唯一可以点亮心灵余温的咒语。

吟诵你的名字，我的生命就能透过想象延续下去。

关于两个丈夫的形象，影片难能可贵的一点是没有把对他们的塑造扁平化成标签意味的“同夫”。

在女性叙事的领域之外，虽然着墨分量不一，却各自完成了立体的描写。

穷困与悲伤给Dyer打造了一张铁铸的面具，他笨拙又不善言辞，将与妻子等量的痛苦全部埋藏在男性性别建构下的沉默强硬之中。

时间流逝，他学会共情妻子的感受并最终呈现了一段在时代局限中稍为健康的夫妻关系图景。

而Finney作为反面形象也有颇多值得玩味的细节铺设，从他对牲畜毫无怜悯的杀戮，对疑似侵入边界陌生人的仇视都可以看出他是在用暴力法则驯服自己的所有物。

讽刺的是，口中最为虔信上帝旨意之人却也是最残暴的刽子手。

只有在平等自由的性中，我才感到被爱与真实，才真正体会何谓活着。

福克纳笔下艾米丽毒死赫默的情节变身成有毒的男子气概冷血而有预告的谋杀。

“那战胜了爱情的煎熬的永恒长眠已经使他驯服了”，野性难驯的她终于臣服在毒药发作的一支舞中。

Abigail面对死去爱人的尸体以日记中性爱场面集锦式地涌现来压制死亡的具象，文字串联的回忆画面瞬间摄取了观者所有的感官，仿佛逝去的爱人可以起死回生。

而这种想象支配回忆的生命力确实能抗衡死亡，直至阴阳两隔也不可能将你带离我的身边。

美国是一个由无畏的拓荒者在马背上建立的国家。

我们的祖先向着未知的新世界索取征服与冒险，所到之处汇聚成了如今地图册上指尖触摸的一道道疆土的边界。

女人的命运也正如天父凝视下无家可归的流浪者，在拓荒中逐渐找回自我。

世上没有为女人预留的国度，女人作为天父的奴隶，世世代代奔徙流浪从未放弃过对应许之地的追寻，去梦想、去期待与用想象创造新世界，也是在完成一套独属于女性的神话与语言。

（先写到这里，未完）

为什么姬片都得这么冷嗖嗖的？

除《菊石》外，又一部烧女图代餐.

烧女图

打开心世界这么一看，烧女图确实牛，看过以后，残影还留在脑子里，从此以后每一部姬片都有了烧女图的影子.自然光与烛火打光，油画般的画面，人物内心汹涌的情感，克制的配乐，文学化的感情处理，啊这就是烧女图套餐定制啊！

而我就想问！

为什么！

为什么每部姬片都这么冷嗖嗖！！

越看越冷！

一边看一边裹紧了我的小被子！

《烧女图》里，法国孤岛的风，吹得女主角们嘴唇都白了！

穿堂吹过空旷的城堡，石墙木门都感觉冰冰凉！

《菊石》里，英格兰海岸冰冷潮湿的礁石，阴沉沉地拖拽着女主角的厚裙子！

我甚至都感觉她的鞋袜里全是盐水和冰渣！

看她徒手去扣被冰水冲刷过的菊石，我瑟瑟发抖脑门都觉得凉！

《打开心世界》里，开篇女主角就说自己早上洗土豆，洗完表面都覆盖着冰！

我要窒息了！！

啥呀这也太冷了！

然后暴风雪哗哗刮，肆虐得我耳根疼，好不容易到了五月，他们还要讨论被冻死掉的可怜狗狗！！！

窒息了！

为什么你们的恋爱都这么冷嗖嗖！！

为什么姬片不拍个夏天在意大利小镇充满桃子香气的爱情故事啊！！

这些姬片一开始就色调低沉，阴冷潮湿，仿佛一开始就昭示着故事的悲剧基调…然而从女性主义视角看，旧时代女性爱情故事本来注定就只能个悲剧.累了，太冷了，想看暖洋洋的爱情故事

《打开心世界》的故事发生在19世纪美国东北部，讲述了女主阿比盖尔和塔莉之间的爱情故事。

作为当时女性生存境遇的缩影，她们分别处于两段不幸的婚姻之中，她们之间的情感联结，在寒冷的冬季谱写出了一支哀婉的悲歌。

“我想买一本地图册。

”阿比盖尔的诉求第一次通过画外音说出，第二次对丈夫宣之于口，但却得不到支持的回应。

“地图册”作为道具勾连了人物感情，在剧情层面，是“渴望”的礼物打败了“实用”的礼物，情感的天平倾斜；在内心层面，是鼓励“无法外出”的女性在想象中冒险；在现实层面，成为了营救塔莉的线索。

另一个重要道具是“账本”。

在男性的世界，账本记录收支、登记访客，女性在账本上的存在或缺位，俨然彰显着“女性是男性的附属与财产”这一时代事实。

“没有记录过我们的心绪，我们的恐惧，我们的幸福，我们刺骨的悲伤”。

而对于阿比盖尔来说，账本记录的是情感的轨迹。

日记是女性写作的重要体裁，长于表现生命体验与内在情感。

就书写内容而言，阿比盖尔描绘了19世纪身为女性的心理体验。

电影大部分是阿比盖尔的主观视点。

她身处囚笼，敏锐地感知世界。

她日记的语言实际上相当克制，在最雀跃的时候不过重复三次“惊喜与喜悦”，在最悲伤的时候也只是使用比喻“我的心是一座没有书的图书馆”。

极高的情感强度和极内敛的书写语言，两者之间的张力呈现，离不开视觉语言。

在评价中，该电影常被类比为散文诗、风景画、抒情音乐。

尽管小说原著出自男性之手，但来自北欧的女性导演使这部电影的质地带上了强烈的女性特质。

导演擅长空间调度，在框架构图与冷暖色调的对比之间，调节人物的物理与心理距离，暗示人物心境与关系。

与空间对应的是声音和节奏，几乎铺满全片的人声独白、大比重的表现性音乐、自然环境的音响。

梦呓的独白和日记书写缠绕在一起，指向内心情感的外化以及和社会、自然环境的情状交接。

“冬日的阳光透过窗户，她的皮肤呈现出玫瑰和紫罗兰的颜色。

”这是触觉电影的案例，在画外音中，阿比盖尔以敏锐的感官能力描绘了对塔莉的细腻观察，这是日记的内容，也是她的内心体验。

此时，镜头在极近的距离掠过塔莉的脸部、袖口，这种看的方式并不具备色情意味，不是定点凝视，而是掠过皮肤，完成眼睛的触摸。

“我想象着继续在这本账簿上写下去，在这里，好像这就是我的生活。

好像我的生活不在别处。

”结尾，阿比盖尔的日记连用五个“想象”。

实际上，她没有见过海，但她对塔莉的情感记述中，充满了海洋相关的比喻。

这是一种想象之爱，是想象将她克制的爱意抛向了我们，实现了情感的内爆。

序号为双女主对戏的场次。

一、初见A：沉默。

（注意到T的秀发）T：谈自己头发的故事。

（展示美丽）A：很高兴你来。

T：沉默。

（我也很高兴）T：抱怨丈夫（我情感不满足）。

都没孩子。

（寻找共情点）二、拔鸡毛T：戴尔是怎么爱上你的？

（你很有魅力。

并不断用在那个年代看来很直白的词汇：smitten, compel来撩骚A）T：如何看待追求者？

（询问A的夫妻关系）T：你们都应该感激。

（我嫉妒他）三、拜访A：芬尼挺好的。

（询问关系）T：他想招人喜欢就可以。

（抱怨丈夫）A：芬尼写过情书吗？

（询问关系）T：只有塔莉知道了。

（拒绝肯定他们的关系）四、送礼A：芬尼怎么样？

（询问关系）T：就是芬尼。

（不具体回答）T：芬尼一直在说如何（用暴力）处置入侵者（抱怨丈夫），所以我来找一些不卑鄙的事（对比，我觉得你更好，我更喜欢你）。

A：戴尔说芬尼有很多优点。

（间接引语说你丈夫也没那么坏，挽回一下尴尬的场面）T：他有笔记本记我出行的情况。

（抱怨丈夫）T：他对我不满意，因为我没为他生孩子。

（可能有表明没有频繁的性生活的意思，鉴于当时的避孕技术，性和生育约等于直接挂钩。

我开始没想到，参考了网友的想法。

不同意请理性探讨。

）T：戴尔想要另一个孩子吧。

（打探性生活）A：沉默。

（我不想要，所以没有频繁的性生活）五-八闺蜜般的相处。

九、挽着走T：芬尼说幸福路上有阻碍。

（同性恋情）A：有阻碍才是幸福的那个。

（虽然我们有困难，但这也是一种幸福。

）T：也许当年他们有我们没有的希望。

（我们要有在一起的希望。

）十、表白T：病态而痛苦的心，平静下来吧。

（我苦恋着一个女人，这是病态的，放下吧。

）A：我太平凡。

T：那就要做些了不起的事，我们都还没经历过那些惊心动魄的时刻（轰轰烈烈的爱情）。

A：可以有（不同寻常的爱情）。

T：你怎么定义我们？

A: 我喜欢我们在一起的感觉，对我们而言除此之外别无所求。

我想太多了。

T：依我的经验并不是表达越少感受越少。

（你说得对。

这句话直接给了A主动亲T的勇气。

）A：你为什么不做想做的事。

（吻我）十一、亲热T：说了一堆出轨的好处。

（出轨的借口）A：（我们在一起）所有的负担都减轻了。

A平时应该是理智那一方，突然跟着T上头，所以T才那么激动。

问题是也得看看当时A在干什么的时候说的那句话，整场的台词就当音效听听得了。

BTW，戴尔应该永远见不到A这一面，心疼戴尔一秒钟。

十二、树林里A：笼中鸟（躲在柜子里）

两位女主非常好，化学作用气贯长虹，抵御暴风雪。

我不反对画外音，从头到尾画外音直接搬字过纸是偷懒，想想编剧之一是短篇小说的原作者先生，肯定是舍不得改。

导演摄影两位主演都尽力了，原料如此，巧妇难为。

令人扼腕的是，说一千道一万的绝世之恋，还是落到那只“我无能为力”的杯具中，想象代替不了一切，只留下酸涩的反高潮。

其实她只需要一本9毛钱的地图册，一匹马。

一支来福枪。

片中拍出了近年最好的初吻之一，农场荒原暴风雪，摄影剪辑一流......但我总觉欠缺点什么。

单纯再现伤痕沉湎痛苦，难免陷入sentimentalism的坑。

我无所谓HE或BE，但是电影需要一个觉醒时刻/cathartic relief，以对抗这压迫和无力，不然，再美的叙事，也终结于虚空。

友邻分享了网友的一段话，我十分赞同。

在我看来TWTC的败笔就是剧本的走向，也反映了直男的思维定式和局限。

无论文字多么好，美则美矣，灵魂缺氧，或曰，灵魂仍是隐约的警告和训诫。

即便他写出情感之绚丽，感叹女人的不幸，仍是那种苦难抒情的调子，单向的抚今追昔，只是赞叹追抚，囿于既定叙事中。

牺牲不可避免，等一等，牺牲的不可避免？

真的没另外的选择了吗？

在漫长的不被看见的历史里，有没有不认命的人，做出不认命的事，被尘埃湮没在男性主导的主流叙事外？

想想华老师的《房客》和其它女性们？

南市买辔头，北市买长鞭，朝辞戴尔去，暮宿丛林边。

若士必怒，伏尸二人，流血五步，今日是也……

再次说，导演三人组非常棒。

但是我愿意跳出剧本“铺陈美丽与哀伤”的逻辑，在“伤”的情绪之外，想一想别的。

网友“Tallie是具有叛逆性格的，她用很‘放’来形容自己，她告诉Abigail小时常不听父亲的话。

我们不要忘记，编剧和原著是直男。

在创作女同角色时会有成见。

他们可以写她逃，跑路；Tallie可以崩了Finney，在那鸟不拉屎的地方没人会发现。

但编剧写她放弃，听天由命，殒亡。

这是他们的选择。

”开始也有写叛逆的性格，写着写着觉得不对，惯性上来，就把她写成美丽与哀愁了。

这是他们的选择。

Abigail平素沉默寡言，但静水流深，谁能预料当人的至爱一个又一个被剥夺时，能产生的爆发力？

他们写她陷入巨大痛苦，在想象中复仇和自洽，这是他们的选择。

父权的压迫和暴力，偏远边陲的生活艰辛，对女性生存的挤压；困境下有情人终究不成眷属，确实非常动人。

这样的书写带来的感动是审美上的满足。

这种抒情仍然是循守陈规的。

感时花溅泪，恨别鸟惊心，确实是好句，也是诗人的情绪，不是花鸟的，究竟诗人不是花也不是鸟，花鸟只是情绪的寄托。

正如在主要是男性书写的历史中，女性是弱者，被欣赏被惋惜者，默认了一怒为红颜的是男人，没想过红颜一怒为红颜。

说到这我又要说华老师，她的好处是拥有另一种想象力，从缝隙中开花发芽，从边缘写出了颠覆，transgression from the margin。

电影瑕瑜互见。

编剧三星。

Mona Fastvold作为导演发挥的余地不多，虽然加入了一些很好的细节，但对剧本没有大改，把大部分创作空间用在调度和视觉语言上了，四星半。

配乐略过火，三星半。

毫无疑问，Katherine Waterston和Vanessa Kirby五星， 如蜜如电。

PS：我很喜欢这部电影，也有issue。

我的issue不在电影，在原著和编剧，在从女性角度看世界和想象力。

从源头上说，原著作者虚构了一位生活于1850年代新英格兰的边远农场女性的家庭，感情和生活。

她和丈夫的关系，她的爱人与丈夫的关系，在故事中不可移除，她们夫妻关系的negotiations，是情节转折的动力。

作者无法或不愿想象男性的缺席。

在视觉化之后，就会有人谈好男人、坏男人、OK男人，也会重复那个固有误解：女人因为没有遇到好男人或婚姻不幸，才去同性那里抱团取暖。

避开热门对比，就说短篇，也是历史小说，虚构的，日记体的，英国作家萨拉·华特斯的《灵契》，没男人什么事，是BE，是完全的女性角度，想象力很大胆。

大小姐是受了哪个男朋友/丈夫的冷遇转而做姬吗？

不存在。

说到历史想象力，维多利亚三部曲的另两部长篇更是想象力丰富。

成王败寇，历史大部分是强者记录，但它有A面和B面，我们何不多去想象没有人写下来的B面。

说一个久远一点的电影，1985年的Desert Hearts，美国，小地方，乡下，银幕之内不见男主。

电影不讨论好男人坏男人。

电影的对焦点，把观众的注意力集中在两位女主如何看待世界，如何对待感情和未来。

这也许才是被期许的world to come。

不推荐这部影片，因为导演略显残忍。

僵硬泛青的尸体，撕开了观众的心。

眼见着灵动美丽的爱人被一步步剥夺生命，而观众和女主一样无能为力，这么沉痛的死亡、压抑的愧疚、深深的无力，导演竟全然不给一点释放的空间，明明在爱人骤然离开生死未卜的时候，导演都可以肆意的让女主沉浸在痛哭、哀嚎和歇斯底里中。

而真正死亡揭幕时，导演一步步的制造了一个沉重的拉人入绝望体会的能量团，最后用激情肉体不断闪回，和冰冷尸体的强烈对比，搅拌这团漩涡，一股脑砸进观众内心，然后戛然而止全不理会。

看完以后不可能不堵心，因为这团有意为之的漩涡没得到释放，只能凌迟着观众同为人类最基本的慈心和同情心，这种感受很像一次小小的心理创伤。

很多电影让人印象深刻，它们拨动人类共性的情愫，调动观众的共情，让相似的情感得以宣泄，正是在别人的故事里留下自己的眼泪，或者重新植入新的理念给有同样伤口的人，这是电影治愈的力量。

有些电影全程阴郁的很，作为一种叙事的色调，也无可厚非。

而有些电影，导演特别设计的影像，就是为了精准的你心里割上一小刀，不管故事、内涵、电影语言多么优秀，这种难忘的一幕还是不够善意，显得阴险。

自用，全剧台词搬运。

来源：https://subslikescript.com/movie/The_World_to_Come-9738716 Tuesday,January 1st, 1856.Fair and very cold.This morning,ice in our bedroomfor the first time all winter.The water frozeon the potatoesas soon as they were washed.With little pride,and less hope,we begin the new year.On the porchafter sunup,I could hear the low chirpingof sparrowsin the hedgerows that arenow buried in the snow.Dyer has maintainedthat with good health,and a level head,there is alwaysan excellent chancefor a farmer willing to work.He feels he can never fullyrid himself of his burdens.And I'm certain that becausehis mind is in such a bad state,it affects his whole system.He told methis morningthat contentment was likea friend he never gets to see.You're late with the milking.She wasn't suffering.And you?Since our acquisitionof this farm,my husband had kept a ledgerto help him see the year whole.This way he knows what each cropand field paysfrom year to year.And Dyer has asked meto keep a diary of mattersthat might otherwisego overlooked...From tools lent outto bills outstanding.That I have done.But there would be no recordin these dull and simple pagesof the most passionatecircumstancesof our seasons past.No record of our emotionsor fears.Our greatest joys.Our most piercing sorrows.With our child,it was as if I'd foundmy bearings.But I too rarely told herthat she was our treasure.Would you like to try?Like this, papa?That's it.She often seemedseparate from us,as if she was working atjust fitting in where she could.They saw his brothersand sistersand they werethe mouse's family...There is somethingso affectingabout mute and motionless griefand illnessin a child so young.She put her arms around meand said nothing else.But it felt likewe were speaking.I have becomemy grief.I have become my grief."Welcome sweetday of rest",says the hymn.And Sunday is most welcomefor its few hours of quiet ease.As for me.I no longer attend.After the calamityof Nellie's loss,what calm I enjoydoes not derive from the notionof a better world to come.I want to purchase an atlas.- It could be a bother.- No, no. No bother.Who is that?His name is Finney.- His wife Tallie.- Hyah!I met themat the feed store.They seem to keep to themselves.They're renting the Zebrun farm.Monday, February 4th.Why is ink like fire?Because it is a good servant,and a hard master.Did you say something?I want to purchase an atlas.I suppose there are morefrivolous purchasesone could make.I've saved 90 cents of my own.I can't imagine a better wayto spend it.Could buy your husband a gift.What better giftcould I give himthan a wifewho is no longer a dullard?My self-educationseems the only wayto keep my unhappinessfrom overwhelming me.Good afternoon.I've been using a broomon my porch.The snow is so dry.I'm Tallie.Abigail.I hope I'm not intruding.No.I just, I needed to get awayfor the day.The farm is a slaughterhouseright now.My husband is killing his hogs.Would you like to come in?Yes, I'd love that.Or we could just stayout on the porch, shivering.I know it's the dullestof all thingsto have an ignorant neighborcome byand spoil a Sunday afternoon.Oh, no,you're the most welcome here.But I know the feeling.Sometimes, I imagine duringthe Widow Weldon's visitsthat I've been plunged up tomy eyes in a vat of the prosaic.Oh, Widow Weldon!She got going on the countylevy once...She sawI had noticed her hair,and admitted she had been vainabout it as a girl.She said that back then,she'd worn it longerand plaited in a bunat the back of her head.In the winter sunthrough the window,her skin had an underflushof rose and violetwhich so disconcerted methat I had to look away.As always,when it came to speakingand attempting to engageanother's affections,circumstances doomed meto striving and anxiety.From my earliest youth,I was like a pot-bound root,all curled in upon itself.I hope I'm not keeping youfrom something.No.I'm glad you've come.Finney saw your husbandat the cooperage.He mentioned his new methodfor farrowing his piglets.With some asperity?My husband mentions everythingwith some asperity.I told him that once,and...he observed in response thatit seemed to be quite a favorto get a kind word from me.And I told him that if hewas married to himself,he'd soon find outwhat a favor it was.My mother always saidthat having childrenwould resolve that dilemma.My mother made the same claim.And yet...Here we are...Both childless.My daughter, Nellie,would have been five today.Oh.How did she pass?Diphtheria.Last September.I'm so sorry.- Hello.- Oh.Good afternoon.I'm Dyer.Tallie.Oh, it's late, isn't it?I should be getting on.Don't go on my account.Oh, no.That's a nice wrap you have.Thank you.I never receive complimentsfor my clothes.I'm so glad you've come.Meeting you has made my day.It has?Well...How pleasant and uncommonit is to make someone's day.Thursday, February 14th.Dyer's third nightwith the fever.Drink this.I plan on getting sickmore often.My wife smiles at me.Promise me you're not gonna die.That would be the oppositeof my intention.I've restoredhim somewhatwith an enema of molasses,warm water and lard.Also a drop of turpentinenext to his nose.I spent the day reconsideringmy conversation with Tallie.We compared childhood beds...Mine in which the strawwas always breaking upand thinning out.And hers, which was as hard,she claimed,as the Pharaoh's heart.I should betaking care of you.I agree.Her manner is sweetand calm and gracious.And yet her spiritsseem to quickenat the prospect offurther conversation with me.I find that everythingI wish to tell herloses its eloquencein her presence.So how did you cometo meet Dyer?He was the oldest sonof a neighbor.He helped outon my father's farm.And was he instantly smittenby you?He was, wasn't he?He was instantly smitten by you.He admired what he viewedas my practical good sense.You don't countenance wordslike "smitten", do you?I suspect I useall the same words you do.I suspect you don't.In speech,yes, because you're shy.But I bet you're moreaccomplished in your writing.Thank you.Your good sense, that's allyour husband was smitten with?And my efficient habits.That's all?My handy ways.Dyer likes mechanical things.I have no doubt he would'vebeen happierhad he been allowed to pursuethe natural scientific bentof his mind.Circumstances forced himinto farming.And despite all of that,his heart compelled him to you?Well...You would have to ask himabout that.And what would you sayif I asked you?I suppose that as a suitor,he was...not generous, but he was just.And that he was affectionate,if not constant.I wasn't sureof his suitability.But my family felt that moreimprovingmight be in the offing.After all, it is a long lanethat has no turning.You both have muchto be thankful for.We do.It's still too soon.Sorry.Tuesday, February 19th.My reluctance seemsto have become his shame.His nighttime pleasures,which were never numerous,have curtailed even more.And I have so far refusedto engage his persistenceon the subject of another child.Evening.This is myhusband Finney.And you already know Dyer.Our paths have crossed.And this is the Abigailthat I've been mentioning.My wife talks about you asif you're all about the house,and everythingreminds her of you.Oh, well, it's all I can dobut sit cross-legged and morosewhenever she's away.- Come in.- Thank you.The rain so heavythat it broke down our mill.Did you miss me?Yes.You look different.No...Finney seems agreeable.Yes, he is,when he chooses to be.I guess I'msupposed to offer a toast.But when it comesto the social graces,I'm about as smooth as comingdown a rocky hill in the dark.What my husband meansis he's so happyto finally get together,and to see Dyer again.Cheers.Part of what I valueabout my wifeis how she taught me toassociate with my fellow beings.Finney, that's a handsomeneck tie you've chosen.Thank you.But with my neck,my head sticks out like achicken in a poultry wagon.Your tart waswonderfully savory.Oh, did you like it?I'm so glad.I was worried I wouldn'thave enough eggs- because we had an accident.- Oh.My hired hand pulled down abox of eggs and broke two dozen.I announced that he wasunlucky to eggsand no longer allowedto approach them."Unlucky to eggs."I like that.I told him that his shirthad so many holes,he can make a necklace of it.Well, we often wishwe could afford a hired hand.We've suffered a great deal fromthe carelessness of hired hands.Mr. Holt's hired hand is saidto have swum his horseover the canal despite the cold.Really?Yes.Winter's been so hard,sometimes Mrs. Weldon's sonhas had to deliver the mailon skis.Now our letters can get lostat breakneck speed.Did you write letters to Talliewhen you were courting?I did.And did Tallie keep them?Only Tallie knows for sure.Monday, February 25th.Finney and Tallie's bondconfounds me.At times, when their eyes meet,they seem yoked in oppositionto one another,while at other times,there seems a shared regard.There is something going onbetween usthat I cannot unravel.Hold this here.Okay.Thank you.Hello, Dyer.Well, hello.You're off?Yes, to town.Have a good day.She'll be pleased to see you.Happy birthday!Brought you some things.Hand-knitted?I hoped you'd like them.I do.An Atlas!The United States of America.Oh and a little pot ofapple sauce with an egg on top.My feet are freezing.Oh, let me warm them.How's Finney?He's Finney.Ah, it tickles.My husband recordstrespassers in his journals.And this morning,when I asked himwhat he intends to doabout them,his response was so unpleasantthat I...resolved to visit you...so that there would be somethingin my dayother than his meanness.Dyer thinks he hasmany estimable qualities.He does.And he also uses a ledger tokeep accounting of whom I visitand how long I stay.Why?I have no idea.As he's gotten more like this,I've given up tryingto figure outall the peculiarities of his...odd little world.I suppose he's especiallyunhappy with me since...I'm yet to give him a child.What does it feel like?Like nothing at first.But then when she beganto stir...it's like butterfliesflapping their wings.Later, like a rabbit...when she kicked her legsat night.It frightens me.The thought of havingnone of that.And of giving birth.Most of us feel that way.But...when the time comes,I will be there...to guide you through it.Dyer must want another child.I understand.Birthday gifts.A box of raisins.That needle caseyou've been needing.And a tin of sardines.You spoil me.Oh, you got giftsfrom your new friend.She left hours ago.I just saw her leave.The great storm beganwith a faint groaningin the northeast.It was like a noiseof a locomotive.Help!Come closer, girl.It's warmer over here.I'm sorry, I'll be going.You should wait it out.Come on, mare.Dyer!Dyer!Dyer!How long would it bebefore I receive word of Tallie?How long could I wait?How long will the feedin the barn last?Each cow eats 26 poundsof forage every day.You should know that.They start to skinny downafter three days.Heard the newspaper predictsthe storm'll let up by then.But that's probably based onan expert's consultationof a goose bone."In a real crisis of nature,we're all at another's mercy."Yes.My mother liked to say,"We tumble from onemortification to another."When I was seven, an earthquakeknocked down our house and barn.Did I tell you?Never.- An earthquake?- Yes.I remember something woke mebefore dawn.I don't know what.My father was calling out.But I couldn't tear myselfaway from the window.I saw birds flutteringin the air, afraid to set down.The river was roiling,and I couldn't move.And then...Finally, I jumped downto our collapsed stairwell,as all my brothershad done before me.And we all huddled togetherin the dark on the porch.Later, my mother saidthat the dread never fullywent away after that.She said, "What was safe ifthe solid earth could do that?"Mother.Tallie! You're frozen!Tallie! Stay awake!Stay awake!Open your eyes! Open your eyes!Keep your eyes open!Keep your eyes open!Look at me.I would die without you.Then you're safe.Because I am here.Monday, March 17th.Half the chickens are lost.I dug ice and snowfrom their dead open mouthsin an attempt to revive them.Hobnails...For better traction.The Widow Weldon'sson, on his rounds,reported that Talliehad gotten home safely,with, he thought,only a bit of frostbite.We haven't seen your frienddown the lane for a while.Finney took her to Oneonta.So everything is tediousand lonesome?Thursday, April 10th.Biscuits and dried mackerelfor breakfast.Dyer has augmentedthe padding in the cattle penswith his hoardingsof maple leaves and old straw.It always seemsthat Tallie will never appear.But I remind myself that timeand the needle wearthrough the longest morning.And I have notedthat when she does arrive,my heart is like a leafborne over a rockby rapidly moving water.Hello. Oh!Oh! Careful.Stay. Sit, sit.Saturday, April 12th.- I spent the last two days...- Very damp, cloudy and cool.Smoky.Perhaps the forestis somewhere on fire.Your nose is being gracious.Monday, April 14th.A terribly bad spring so far,but the cloverhas come up through it,and is all right.And how's Finney?The soul of patience.He's mentioning again the ideaof migrating west.You're planning on moving west?Perhaps.I had an uncle who moved to Ohioand came to a desperate end.Which is what onemight expect from Ohio.- Tomorrow?- Hm.Thursday, April 17th.Rain in torrentsnearly all night.The lane is floodedand the ditches brim full.This morning,only a slight shower.Tallie came laterthan her usual time today.She offered no explanation.I'm sorry that your childhoodwas anything less than joyous.Joyous it was not.But I made my own happinesses.My husband says, "Godputs heavy stones in your path,it's up to usto step over them."Stones are whatthe fortunate receive.My mother's mother was bornin 1780right here in Schoharie County.I often wonder at the courageand the resourcefulnessof those women.Imagine faring forthinto a wilderness,hoping to build the foundationsof a home.Maybe they had a certain highhopefulness that we don't have.When can you come?Tuesday.- Hello, Tallie!- Good day.Was your afternoon gladsome?Yes, it was, very.- Goodbye.- Goodbye.I felt,looking at her expression,as if she werein full sail on a flood tide,while I bobbedalong down backwards.And yet,I never say on her countenancethe indifferenceof fortunatetowards the less fortunate.Good day.Good day.Are you sick, too?Not at all.I was hoping to compare colds.I'll make you tea and honey?What?Every morning I wake upand I think that I neverwant to be far from you.And under your influence,since you're so good with words,I've composed a poem.It's entitled..."Oh, Sick and Miserable Heart,Be Still."When I was a little girl,I thought I could cultivatemy intellectand do something for the world.But my life has surprised meby being far more ordinary.You're talking about that momentthat I have dreamed about,when we're carried in triumphfor having done somethingwonderful or received at homewith tears and shouts of joy.Do you know what I wonder?Is it possible...that such a moment hasn'tyet come for either of us?I think it has.Or that it could.You do.So what do you think?What do you think about us?I don't know howto put it into words.Well, try.- I have tried.- Well, try again.What do you imagine?I imagine that I lovehow our encircling feelingsleave nothing out...for us to want or seek.I've presumed too much.It's been my experiencethat it's not always thosewho show the leastwho actually feel the least.Just my dog's toenailson the wood.Why didn't you dowhat you attempted to do?I worry you'll catch my cold.You smell like a biscuit.I have to go home.Astonishment and joy.Astonishment and joy.Astonishment and joy.You haven't accomplishedany of your responsibilities.- Do you need assistance?- No, I don't think so.So it's a cold platefor supper tonight?I'll milk the cows.Friday, May 30th.The sunshine streamingthrough the branchesmakes a tremendous farragoof light and shade.We hold our friendshipbetween us and study it,as if it were the incompletemap of our escape.When the day is done,my mind turns to her,and I think,with a special heat,"Why are we to be separated?"Your smile stopped.Is it meant for someone else?Sorry, my mind was elsewhere.We need calico and buttonsand shoe thread.Am I troubling you,sitting here with you like this?Not at all.I may be late coming to it,but I've learnedconsideration of others.I've learned the needfor human sympathyand the unfulfilled want of it.I feel I've provided youwith sympathy.I suppose that's so.The smile returns.Good day.Oh.I believe that intimacyincreases goodwill.And if that's the case,then every minutewe spend togetherwill make usmore cheerful workers.Won't our farms benefitfrom that?Won't our husbands?All our burdenswill be lightened.When she left,I was like a skiff at seawith neither hand nor helmto guide it.They're cleaning out the drainunder the street along the fork.And several peopleare down with fever.Holt came by to hang the bacon.He still hasn't recovered frombeing beaten by two strangers.He had to be hauled to his homein his cart.He said the men who did itwere gonna kill him,and then realized they weremistaken as to who he was.Lately, it seems likeall you talk aboutare highwaymenand house breakers.On the contrary,I often deferto your sensitivities.And I haven't eventold you aboutall the reportsin the county of menwho've poisonedand killed their wivesbecause I haven't found ita fitting subject for supper."Killed their wives,"he used those words?Mm-hm. those words.Have you had any disagreements?Yes, about my wifely duties.I told him that I was opposedto it, that I was not willing.And he accepted that?Well, he hasn'ttouched me since, so...But I made myselffeel better...by composing a poem.Can I readyou the opening stanza?You can read me the entire poem.No, I'll start withthe opening stanza."I love flowering gardens.I love creeping plants.I love walking in the air,but I fear swarming ants."I don't think I cansupport the rhyme.You see why I didn'tread the whole thing?I'm sorry.I've always been contraryand maladroit.Earlier, I... I felt that...whenever I would draw closeto you, you would retreat,and that, if I kept still,you would returnbut you'd stay at a distance,like those sparrowsthat stay in the farmyardand won't come into the house.- That's not how I feel.- How do you feel, then?When I was in school,the teacher had meread "Cordelia"to an older boy's "King Lear."Near the end of the play,the king and his daughterare imprisoned,but he views itin a positive way."Come, let's away to prison,"he says."We two alone shall singlike birds in a cage."Imprisoned...In a positive way?Well, maybe that one has to readthe entire play.It may be only in playswhere peopleare imprisonedin a positive way.You don't think there's a cagethat could work to our benefit?I just...I only know that...I've never liked cages.I hope you had a good afternoonin Shangri-La or Timbuktu,wherever it is you've been.I had a busy afternoon, yes.I would think.Five hours you've been gone.I went to the drapers.I couldn't find anythingI liked.Then I stopped by the tinkerfor a sack of coffee,but he's now asking 60 cents,and I only had 50.Then I thought I would buy youa treat of some kind,but Mr. Arnolds reminded methat I still owedfor my last transactions so...I was forcedto close up my purse.Tell me everythingabout your day.Don't hold anything back.You're not interested inhow your wife spends her time.I don't feel I have a wife.I feel I have a selfish whorewho...who'd rather wander offto another man's housethan contribute any labor.Well, Dyer was offin the fields,and her houseis on the way back home, so...So it's just Abigail and youtittering and gossipingaway the hours?Enjoying each other's company.I have certain expectations,and you have certain duties.We've talked all night and dayabout your expectations.I will not stay with a womanif it continually requirescontention.Well, then you shouldn't staywith me, should you?Don't ask for morethan you can handle.Sunday, June 8th.All afternoon, a hawk has beenusing a single cloud above usas its own parasol.To ward off others of its kind.Our whole house nowseems both angry and repentant.God help us.When three days went bywithout a word from her,I stole over to her houseto look on herfrom what I imagined to bea vantage pointof perfect safety.By turning the lens piece,I could draw her face nearer,and hold it thereuntil she turned away.Her image provokeda sensation in melike the violencethat sends a floating branchfar out overa waterfall's precipicebefore it plummets."For the wife does not havethe authority over her own body,but the husband does.Do not deprive one another,so that Satan may not tempt youbecause of your lackof self-control."Ephesians 5:33. "Submit to yourown husbands, as to the Lord..."Monday, June 9th.Merciful father...Turn the channel of events.Wednesday, June 11th.Dyer has been silent all day,and I was happy to be leftin my solitude.Hello!Tallie...We haven't seen you for days.Have you been ill?- Nothing serious, I hope.- Ho!She's been under the weather.- Good afternoon.- Good afternoon.We want to invite you to dinneragain this Saturday next.But it's our turn.We should be feasting you.In the meantime,please be our guests.We'd love to.Six?- Six it is.- Hup!My mother once told mein a furywhen I was a little girlthat my fatherasked nothing of herexcept thatshe work in the garden,harvest the produce,preserve the fruit,tend the poultry,milk the cows,manage the household duties,and help out in the fieldswhen needed.She said she appearedin his ledgeronly when she purchased a dress.Am I anywhere in there?I'm recording spring expenses.And how havethings changed?Daughters are married offso youngthat everywhere you looka slender and unwilling girlis being forced to stema sea of tribulationsbefore she is even full-grownin height.That's its purpose!Come on. Come on.Morning.Morning, Jim.Morning, ma'am.I've got a new book for you.Do you know,I'd actually like to seethat blue dress you have there.All right, lady.Over here!It's two and a half.I'll take it.My change?Thank you.The Mannings' oldestdaughter tipped over an oil lampand it set the house ablaze.- Fire!- Ho! Ho!- Fire!- Before she was drivenfrom the house by the flames,she heard calls from her sister,who was trappedin the upper loft.Get her out of there.Cassie!Get her out!Get her out!Your wife is to be commendedon her hospitality and cooking.I can recall the day...No, thank you....when every family was fed,clothed, shot, sheltered,and warmed from the productsa good wifegathered withinher own fence line.I heard down by the loggersthat Mrs. Mannings' oldestgot fiercely burnedin the house fire.- Cassie.- And died.Yes, she did.Well, as my father used to say,"The supreme disposerof all eventsdoes sometimes disappointour earthly hopes."What a marvelous hanging lamp.Finney purchased it sothat everyone could readwith equal ease around the room.I wasn't brought up to readover much,but I do believe a fathershould give his childrenevery chance to improve.Children being a sore pointin this household.And yours, I'd expect.You'll have to forgivemy husband.Even so,whatever misfortunesarrive at my doorstep,I seek to improve my lotwith my own industry.I...I study my options closely,and just attend to everythingwith more vehemence.Well, then you should becommended for that.I'll give you an example.When I first began farming,I was so vexedat my own inabilityto stop my dogs barkingthat one January,during a storm,I held the dog aroundthe corner of the barn in a galeuntil it froze to death.I nearly froze to death myself,at least froze my hands,even with my heavy work gloves.That is reprehensible.Did I see outsidethat you use an old shovel plow?Well, since you're interestedin my machinery,I have a hinged harrowthat's been giving me trouble.The spikes catch the rocksand roots, and they break off.Well, our harrowhas upright discs.Work better?Yeah, it seems to.Bring the desserts.I think we're stuffed.My husband insistson his pastriesand preserved fruits and creams.Well, good.What is happening?Are you in danger?What happened to your neck?No, I just took a fallover a fence.I hadn't heard.There are many things aboutwhich you haven't heard.Back at the table,Tallie kept strict custodyof her eyes.Her husband's moodseemed to have darkened.He served the pastriesand creams himself,leaving only her plate empty.Saturday, June 21st.My heart a maelstrom.My head a bedlam.A whole weekand no visit from Tallie.No word.My anxieties often force meto stop my workand pace the houselike an inmate.I have to see her.Ho, ho!Tallie! Tallie!What has happened?They're gone.And no goodbye?We need to call the sheriff.And report what exactly?That our neighbors moved?It's the Zebrun farm.They were renting.I'll go then.For what reason?There's blood!And you never had an accident?So we'll just do nothing?I'll make the roundsof the neighbors.And if we are not satisfied,we can take your fearsto the sheriff.Thank you.Monday, June 23rd.Dyer said Mrs. Nottowayrecalled spotting their caravanon the country road in thelate evening, heading northwest.Mrs. Nottoway?She believed she spiedTallie's figurealongside her husband'sbut was unsure.A hired hand, she thought,was driving the second wagon.Sunday, June 29thI spotted the sheriffon his way to church.I conveyed my accusations,to no response.Dyer said that no one wouldinvestigate a crimewithout evidence that a crimehad been committed.Calm myself?I refused to calm myself,so he tied me to a chairand administered laudanum.Monday, June 30th.Bleary and short of breathfrom the laudanum...I wake weeping,retire weeping,stand before my duties weeping.Sunday, July 6th.I am a library without books,a sea of fear,agitation and want.Dyer speaks of how much wehave for which to be grateful.I sit violently consciousof the ticking clockwhile he weepsat what he imaginesto be his own poor,forgotten self.Wednesday, July 9th.Despite some hourswithout the laudanum,I was so befoggedand wild with griefthat Dyer left mefor the afternoon,unsettled and wary of my state.Tuesday, July 22nd.- Weldon?- Good day.The renters at Zebrun's farmare gone.Did they leavea forwarding address?No. You've got a letter.Hyah.Is it from her?It is.- Oh.- Origin?Onondaga County. Do you know it?It's north of Syracuse.Are you gonna read it?To myself.Abigail, Abigail, Abigail.I'm sorry that all I haveto send you is this letter,and I'm sorry for allthat a letter cannot be.Even the best letteris just a little bit of someone.I'm sorry I never gotto say goodbye,and I'm sorry that we seemto have tradedone sort of misery for another.It turns out that houses deepin the backwoodsalways seem to be awful andunnatural in their loneliness.If there were onlya ruined abbeyaround here with bats in it,the view would be perfect.Our roof is ramshackle and shedswater nicely in dry weatherbut we have to spread milk pansaround the floor when it rains.Still, outside the kitchen,there are already anemonesand heart's-ease,and even prettier flowerswhich my stupiditykeeps me from naming for you.I believe I've enjoyed myselfless these last few weeksthan any other femalewho ever lived.During what little timeI have to myself,Finney reads aloudinstructions for wivesfrom the Old Testament.But when it comes to the Bible,I have to say thatthere are a lot of passageshe may know word for word,but which haven't touchedhis heart.I can't account for his stateof mind except to saythat my company must beintensely disagreeable to him.And if that's the case,I'm sorry for it.Ho...Good afternoon!Afternoon.Whoa.Hey.I've got something for you.There you go.Thank you.Good day.Hyah. Come on.- Is it for me?- From Schoharie County.- Your Abigail.- Give that to me.Give it. Finney, give...Finney!"What's to becomeof the thousands of our sexscattered out in the wildernessand obligedto tax our strengths?I feel as if,at that selfsame hourwhen our prospectswere brightest,that in the dim distancea black shadow approached.And yet still,imagine the happiest of unionsfor us of the sortin which two families previouslyat daggers drawnare miraculously broughttogether on love's account.It is your faceI bear through the night.It is to you I devotea dreaming spacebefore I turn myself to sleep,but there is no sleep.It's as if within me everythingclamors for air,and I thinkif it's like this now,what will it be like later?I send you what loveand support I can.I send you all my heart's hopes.Abigail."Please knowthat force alonecouldn't have gotten me hereto a place like this.I was told I had to actin support of interest,happiness and the reputationof someone I once loved.As far as I can figure,we're now still only about85 miles apart.But of course,people like usdon't go on long visits.Dyer refused firstto permit my departure,and then to accompany me,and only caught up to the cartat the end of our propertyand climbed aboard.We were the very pictureof anguish,rattling along side by side.The night was fair and warm withthe appearance of a coming rain.A shower.It's so hardto write abouthow much I want to thank you,but I have to start somewhere.Abigail...I want to tell you that beingwith you, even alone,has been like being a partof the biggestand most spacious communityI could ever imagine.I feel closer to youthan I would a sister sinceeverything amazing that I feel,I chose to feel.And do you know what memoryit is that I most cherish?It's of you turning to mewith that smile you gave meonce you realizedthat you were loved.I have no way of knowingwhat is to come,but I do knowthat all of the trustand care and courage we shared,that will all shine on usand protect us.You are my city of joy.You are my city of joy.Whoa.Might I askyour business?We've come to see Tallie.Where is she?I heard you on the road.You made such a racket.I took you for the tin knocker.We've ridden for three days.We are not leavingwithout seeing her.I'm not concerned with what youwill or will not leave without.Keep a civil tongue,friend.Where is she?I treated her with tea of sootand pine-tree rootto good effect,but sickness always testsour willingnessto bow beforethe greatest authority.My guess isthat it was diphtheria.No!There is somealienation from marital...What time is it?I don't care.- I have to go.- You're gonna make a mark.Come on.Come on.Come on.Sunday, August 31st.Weather very hot and sunny.I cleaned out the shedwhich was full of rustyand dusty rubbish,washed the windows,and preserved applesfor the winter.Fourteen dollars from the saleof our milk and butter.I have cut my handwith a paring knife.I console myselfwith the convictionthat someday in the futurewhen Dyeris forced to travel to Syracusefor feed or supplies,I will join him,and take his rifleand go to Skaneatelesand kill Finney where he sits.Dyer has been at workon the barn.Each day,we enact our separation.Sometimes after it gets dark,we walk over the hillsacross our upper fieldsfor the wide, wide view.And Dyer tries to imagine usas we were,while I try to imagine Tallieand that cordialand accepting homethat existed solelyin our dreams.I imagine Tallie and Nelliesomewhere together,and Nellie running her brushthrough Tallie's hair.I imagine banishing foreverthose sentiments of my ownthat she chastened and refined.I imagine resolving to dowhat I can for Dyer.And I imagine continuingto write in this ledger,here,as though this was my life.As though my lifewas not elsewhere.I've always fearedthat I would bring misfortuneto those I loved.Are you really saying nothingto that?I don't know where to start.I can't imagine what morewe could do for one another...with our constraints.You can't?I can't.You can't?Well, then...It's a good thing we rememberthat our imaginationscan always be cultivated.